FI Have Returned! That had to be the biggest gap ever! But now I will return to my adoring fans. Fans... faaaans? Where did everybody go?! Hello... helloooooo!!! Maybe I should've posted more?
OK so I can explain. I was going on Washington D.C. but I took a wrong turn and ended up in Canada. Then I got lost in the Canadian wilderness, and I was being hunted by the mounties. I was finally able to make it to Niagara Falls, but I got swept away and ended up in the Atlantic Ocean. I was discovered on the shores of Ireland, but unfortunately, I had amnesia. Luckily, I had ID with me, and I was able to remember who I am after several months of searching.
I then took a boat to New York, but I ended up on the Titanic because I fell into a wormhole. I was lucky enough to find the last lifeboat, and I slowly drifted back to America. After I ended up in Massachusetts, I made my way back to PA, only to realize I was still back in time. Confused, I decided to live the rest of my life in California.
After 50 years of being a rock and roll legend and eating many PB and Banana sandwiches, I began to grow tired of it all. I took a plane to Florida to do my next show. I hadn't been in Florida for a while so I celebrated by going to the Everglades. Unfortunately, I fell of the tour boat. I suddenly found myself in the Fountain of Youth! I drank some magical water, but it tasted dreadful! It turns out swamp muck makes you younger! After returning to my original age, I fell into the Nexus of All Realities.
I then ended up in England. I found a castle with a nice old man who cared for me, but one day I found a mysterious old wardrobe which transported me to a magicical other realm. After years of being a king and saving the world, I tried to go through the wardrobe, but I found myself in a galaxy far, far away. I became an amazing laser sword-wielding hero. But when I blew up the Death Orb, I went through a wormhole back to the day I left for D.C. and I made sure we went the right way this time. And if you're wondering why I haven't been posting, I've been lazy ever since. By the way, the Smithsonian is awesome; I loved it!