Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Looooong Road

FI Have Returned! That had to be the biggest gap ever! But now I will return to my adoring fans. Fans... faaaans? Where did everybody go?! Hello... helloooooo!!! Maybe I should've posted more?

OK so I can explain. I was going on Washington D.C. but I took a wrong turn and ended up in Canada. Then I got lost in the Canadian wilderness, and I was being hunted by the mounties. I was finally able to make it to Niagara Falls, but I got swept away and ended up in the Atlantic Ocean. I was discovered on the shores of Ireland, but unfortunately, I had amnesia. Luckily, I had ID with me, and I was able to remember who I am after several months of searching.

I then took a boat to New York, but I ended up on the Titanic because I fell into a wormhole. I was lucky enough to find the last lifeboat, and I slowly drifted back to America. After I ended up in Massachusetts, I made my way back to PA, only to realize I was still back in time. Confused, I decided to live the rest of my life in California.

After 50 years of being a rock and roll legend and eating many PB and Banana sandwiches, I began to grow tired of it all. I took a plane to Florida to do my next show. I hadn't been in Florida for a while so I celebrated by going to the Everglades. Unfortunately, I fell of the tour boat. I suddenly found myself in the Fountain of Youth! I drank some magical water, but it tasted dreadful! It turns out swamp muck makes you younger! After returning to my original age, I fell into the Nexus of All Realities.

I then ended up in England. I found a castle with a nice old man who cared for me, but one day I found a mysterious old wardrobe which transported me to a magicical other realm. After years of being a king and saving the world, I tried to go through the wardrobe, but I found myself in a galaxy far, far away. I became an amazing laser sword-wielding hero. But when I blew up the Death Orb, I went through a wormhole back to the day I left for D.C. and I made sure we went the right way this time. And if you're wondering why I haven't been posting, I've been lazy ever since. By the way, the Smithsonian is awesome; I loved it!


Any Occasion Boutique said...

Oh GOSH you tickle me!!! I love your imagination! I mean your story of your travels and life ;-)

Missed you my little man!

Sharon said...

Oh my goodness, what travels you've undertaken and all the while your doppelganger must have been here with me - how fascinating!

In truth you've been a busy student and oh yeah, that actual trip to DC, your stay in the mansion hotel and the day at the Smithsonian I hear were pretty awesome too. ;-)

Angie Kelly Designs said...

HAHAHAAAAAAA! What a fabulous life you've lead.!! LOL Great to see you back my small friend! Your wisdom and insights have been missed :o)

D said...

Oh My Dear God!!!!! I don't know what else to say.

Rocki said...

LOL!!!!!! :0 You have me cracking up over here! I SOOOO needed this! Your imagination rocks!

Ok Josh, will you please write my excuses for me? I mean, your writing is SO believeable that I'm sure my customers would understand if an unforeseen event should ever happen in which I could not make the scheduled shipping date.

Happy Friday!

Josh said...

Thank you for your wonderful remarks everyone. Your friendship touches me all. As for you Rocki: *clears throat* I am sorry to announce that your package has been carried into a micro-wormhole. It was transported to the prehistoric era. You will be able to find it at the attached location. (Digging tools required)

Rocki said...

But I don't like micorworms, they are not very tasty. LOL! Hee Hee Hee

agoodwitchtoo said...

Josh, glad you're back at the blogging!

Sounds like you had a very interesting experience and I'm glad to see you made it through the whole ordeal with your wits and hopefully all your extremities intact. I hear that people have lost limbs falling through wormholes.

PS I love the Smithsonian too :)